


Disenchanted

by Lotion_the_Mitch



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bands, The Black Parade, my chemical romance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-19 03:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotion_the_Mitch/pseuds/Lotion_the_Mitch
Summary: I was floating, I was falling, I was losing my mind. I was safe, I was scared. I was lost, I was found. I felt everywhere and nowhere, muffled sounds off in the distance, flashes of bright lights and masked faces were all that I knew. There was a jolt, then maybe two more that rocked my whole body. It ricocheted down to the tips of my fingers and the ends of my toes.Then it was quiet, silent, and I was finally at peace.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Whatever I was laying on was the most uncomfortable thing I had ever been on. That was the only thing I knew for a moment, how fucking uncomfortable it was to be jabbed in the ribs and my legs like this. I couldn't get myself to move, to try and make it better. It felt like all my bones were made of thousand pound weights.

I was scared, but there was nothing to fear. I was so sure of it. What shouldn't I have been scared of?

It felt like it took hours to finally just open my eyes. What I saw was less than inviting, but it was also so very familiar. The sky was grey, but not the kind of grey you'd might think of. There was no hopeful sunshine behind the darkened clouds, no streaks of pleasant blue hiding between the lines of the sad sky. It looked desaturated almost. It was so strange, but also comforting.

I blinked once, twice. My eyelids worked, so that was something.

I felt stiff, but couldn't move to make whatever situation I was in any better. It felt like time had passed, but it was so hard to tell. Nothing moved, nothing made a sound, there was no sunshine or moonlight to let me know what time it may have been. There was nothing.

I suppose I should've been scared, but there was a weird sense of peace that settled in my mind. I was okay, but I didn't know why.

I flexed my fingers slowly, the weighted feeling slowly lifting itself from my body. The ground felt hard underneath my fingers, but also was gritty, like a fine covering of sand. The jabbing feelings became much more prominent to my ribs and legs. It felt sharp, like it was going to cut through my skin and bleed me dry.

I finally sucked in a deep breath, a dry, dusty feeling accompanying the air that entered my lungs, coating my throat. I rolled over and tried to cough out whatever had just entered my body. It looked like grey dust, or maybe desaturated sand, but it seemed different than that. When I ran my hand through it, it came back dark. It was ash.

I looked up, blinking the world into somewhat clarity. It was so bleak. The landscape was destroyed, desiccated. Buildings were crumbled to the ground, others standing blank and abandoned against the harsh grey skyline. I wiped my mouth, looking down at the ground underneath me.

I had been laying on what was part of a crumbled building, the concrete slabs making for a not so great bed.

I carefully stood up, brushing myself free of a thin layer of ash that had covered me. I took note of the black torn up jeans I was wearing, a black shirt of some kind, and black jacket with thumb holes. Huh.

The only color that really stood out were the bright red shoelaces on my shoes. Everything else, including my skin, wasn't colored. It was all greyscale, except for my shoelaces. It was fucking bizarre.

I ran a hand through my hair and looked around again, trying to find some kind of landmark that I could remember this place by, but it all looked the same. I was lost in a place I was unfamiliar with, but at the same time I felt like I should know where I was.

Before I could decide whether or not I should start walking, the static sound of an old television made me jump. I turned to see into what used to be the building I must've been laying on, an old tv that you'd maybe see in the 70s, with the antenna on the top, had whirred to life even though it had no power going to it.

I walked over, staring at the old screen with tv static on it. I tilted my head to one side, the screen going dark and fading into a video image of a woman holding a newborn baby. I sat down in the uncomfortable chair that was in front of the tv.

The woman looked a bit of a hot mess, hair everywhere, face tired and drawn, but she was happy to be holding this new life. Her lips were moving, but there was no sound coming from the tv.

There was a pang of remembrance, but I couldn't recall who this woman was. I knew I should have, but there was just nothing.

She gave the infant a soft kiss on the forehead, and it was over before it even started. I blinked, rubbing my eyes and leaned back against the plastic chair. It creaked under my weight, but thankfully didn't give way.

"Beautiful isn't she?" a voice said. I jumped and turned to see someone standing with their back to me. They were distant but their voice was as clear as day. Somber yet content.

I had so many questions running through my mind as I stood up, to try and get closer to this stranger.

"Not yet," they said, watching the dark skyline, causing me to halt in my spot. I had too many questions, so many things I needed answered, but my mouth spoke words before I could decide on one question or another.

"Where am I?" I asked, to which I received no response. "Where am I? Who are you? What is this place? Who - " I asked desperately, stumbling forward, grabbing what I thought was this stranger's shoulder, but ended up just being a broken column left behind.

I let out a scared sound, falling back in shock. I was crying. I was scared, alone, and...something deeper. Something I didn't understand. I covered my face and let out my cries, my body shaking, even though I wasn't cold.

"You'll find the right questions soon," the voice said, hands placing themselves on my shoulders. I jumped and turned around, backing up, but there was nobody there.

Now I had even more questions running through my mind. What did they mean? Where was I? Who was this person? What was with the vanishing act?

I tried to calm myself down, rubbing my eyes harshly. I felt miserable, like nothing I did was going to matter, but I had to try. I sniffed and looked out at the desolate landscape. I had to try. That much I was sure of.

I stood up and brushed off some ash, making my way towards the road that passed by the broken down building. I felt like I shouldn't even try, to just give up and stay here, but I knew that wouldn't do anything for me.

So I took one step forward, and then another, and another. Before I knew it, I was working my way down this destroyed road. It was completely torn up, jagged pieces sticking out and barely resembling a road at all, but I had to follow it. I needed to know what lay at the end.

I was going to have my questions answered, even if I found the answers myself along the way.

And so began my journey into the bleak and desolate world.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt like I'd been traveling for an eternity, everything looking the same so I wasn't really sure if I had even made any progress.

I wasn't out of breath or sweating like I thought I should have been. I didn't feel tired, but I didn't feel quite awake either. I was stuck in the middle and I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

I let out a slight breath of relief when the road started to look just a little less broken. It wasn't much, but it didn't look as broken and jagged as the past however far I'd travelled. I pushed my hair out of my face, looking behind me. It stretched on and on, disappearing into complete darkness.

"I didn't think night even existed here," I muttered to myself, turning back around to look at the vast expanse before me. It seemed just as endless as what lay behind me.

I scratched at my head, looking down at my bright red laces. Fuck it. I sat down on the street, rubbing my eyes despite not feeling tired at all.

"I see you've calmed down," a familiar voice said. I looked up to see the same figure as before. Same distance, same clarity, same tone of voice. "Good. You'll need a level head."

"Where am I?" I asked, leaning back against a piece of street that was sticking up. Not comfortable but also not the most uncomfortable thing I had experienced thus far.

"Incorrect," they said curtly, almost sounding offended.

"Excuse me?" I asked, incredulous as their tone of voice.

"Incorrect," they repeated. They seemed more upset that I questioned them.

"How can a question be incorrect?"

"Because it wasn't correct. How much clearer can I be?" they asked, almost bitter.

"It would be nice to get a yes or no answer," I spat, frowning at their back.

"When you ask the right question maybe I'll oblige," they sassed. A gust of wind blew my hair into my face. I pushed it back behind my ear and the figure was gone.

"Prick," I hissed, more to myself now that I was alone again.

Right question? What the fuck did that mean? I decided I didn't have time to dwell on it. I cracked my neck with a bit of relief, standing and running my hand through my hair. I wasn't getting anywhere just hanging around this wasteland. I took a deep breath and continued forward.

It was so strange to see a probably once great city like this be so empty. I didn't understand it, and I wasn't sure I ever would.

I didn't know how long I travelled for, or if time had passed at all, but I had arrived at a crossroads. To the left of me and in front of me was just as jagged and looked to be getting worse the further it went on. To my right it looked to be getting more leveled out, and since going back wasn't an option, I took that road.

The further I went down the road, the more it evened out to a level that was bearable to walk on.

Before I could get too far down this road, an alarm sounded. To be honest it sounded like the siren from Silent Hill, and that was fucking terrifying. I stopped to see if I needed to run from any fucked up zombies or something.

Instead, in the distance there was a rumbling so severe it shook the ground beneath my feet. When I looked down, the ground was cracking beneath my shoes.

I looked up and realized there was just a wall of darkness rushing towards me. With it was a deep, guttural, sound like some sort of ethereal beast on a rampage. And it was getting closer, fast.

I was momentarily paralyzed with fear. I didn't know what to do. Everything in my body was telling me to run, but could I outrun something like this? I had to try.

I took off in the other direction, the darkness getting louder and louder, deafening my own heavy breathing as I tried to get back to the crossroads.

Wind howled in my ears, the ground trembled underneath my feet so severely I thought I was going to lose my footing. As the strong gusts pushed me forward, it sounded like a tornado on steroids the closer it got. All I knew is that I had to run. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try.

By the time the familiar jagged pieces of road caught up to me, it felt as if this wall had grown tendrils and was lapping at my ankles, just trying to grab me and drag me back.

I fell behind the biggest piece I could hide under, covering my ears as a huge gust of wind threw itself over me, a shrieking making my ears ring. I screamed out, in case anyone could hear me, but I couldn't even hear myself.

I don't know how long it lasted, but by the time it ended, my throat ached from screaming. I slowly uncovered my ears, the silence ringing in my ears. I swallowed thickly and peered out of my hiding place.

"What...?" I breathed out, standing up. The road was perfectly fine, as if it hadn't just been tearing itself apart from the inside out. "That's..."

"You weren't supposed to go that way yet."

I turned an angry gaze to the ever familiar stoic figure in the distance. "You didn't think that an important thing to mention?" I asked angrily. "Just a simple, 'Oh by the way don't take the easy way out you might get swallowed by an angry wall of darkness !!' None of that seemed important to you?!" I cried. "Just who the fuck are you?! What the fuck just happened?!"

"Finally, a pertinent question," they said, turning to face me. I still couldn't really make out what they looked like, but they seemed like they were wearing dark clothes. "You were trying to go somewhere you weren't ready for."

"Again, no heads up?" I asked bitterly, wanting to move forward, to get closer, but my feet felt rooted to the spot.

"You needed to learn for yourself. You always have."

"What the fuck does that even mean? Where am I? Who are you? What is this place?" I cried, ready to have a breakdown right then and there.

"Incorrect," they said steadily.

"Fuck you!!" I cried, running my hands through my hair angrily, pulling on the strands a little. "Fuck you and fuck this world and fuck whatever the fuck just happened and fuck everything about this goddamn place!!! FUCK!!!!" I slumped to the ground, coughing and leaning against the slab of road that had shielded me. "Fuck you..." I sobbed out.

I didn't even flinch when two arms wrapped themselves around me. I felt a body pressed up against mine, the warmth of an embrace much needed making me miss something...someone.

"I can't give you everything, but I can give you one thing," the person said softly, their voice having gone from snarky bastard to soothing father. "What that was, it was you. A part of you you're afraid of. You weren't ready to face it yet."

"Will I ever be ready?" I asked hoarsely, holding tightly to the gloved hands for some sort of comfort. They ran their thumbs over my knuckles slowly, the leather sliding over my skin smoothly.

They rested their chin on top of my head, humming softly in thought. "I have faith you will be." I tried to turn and look at them, to know what they looked like. They shushed me gently and held me in place. "You have a long journey ahead of you, just rest."

They started to sing, a soft melody, one I was sure I'd heard before, but couldn't place where. Before I could even begin to think of a question to ask, I was falling asleep against this complete stranger that felt so familiar.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't know what I noticed at first, the smell of the stale, dry air, or the fact I was resting my head on someone's lap.

I blinked my eyes open, wincing a little at the bright, static filled television screen in front of me. I watched tiredly as it faded from darkness into what looked like a home video. There was sound, but it was so muffled and distorted it sounded like it was deep underwater.

What showed was a toddler waddling the world holding onto a woman's hand. It was a nice little sequence with a loving family. The mother looked more and more tired with each moment that showed.

There was a pang of sorrowful remembrance in my chest, so much so that I teared up. I sniffed softly as it froze on a shot of her smiling face. She was someone important to me, someone so meaningful.

I'd lost her. I don't know how I knew that, but I'd lost her to something terrible and sad. I tried to reach forward, to touch the screen, but it went dark.

I sighed softly and sat up, my heart nearly stopping when an arm came with me. I grabbed it and it was...plastic? I looked over at the person next to me to realize that it was one of those dummies that you'd see in a nuclear testing site.

I set the arm on its lap and looked around to figure out where I was. It was a family room, just the mannequin and myself, the tv, and the torn up old couch we were on. I stood up and walked over to a window.

I was on the ground floor in a building just a few meters from the crossroads I had passed out at. I let out a heavy breath and climbed out.

Whoever that figure was must've put me on this path for a reason, so I took it. I swallowed nervously as I trekked the jagged road ahead of me.

I was constantly vigilant of that big black wall that nearly took me out, or whatever all that was. It was terrifying, and I was not keen to face it again.

I walked for a good long while, the road slowly evening out. I didn't feel so alone this time.

"Doing well?" that voice asked. I could tell they were following along at a distance, but their voice still sounded so close, like they were right next to me. Maybe they were in some respect.

"I suppose. Definitely a little easier to move along these roads," I said, continuing forward. I needed to know what lay at the end.

"Good," they said, sounding oddly pleased.

"Why is it every time I see that woman on a tv, the road gets easier to walk?" I asked, figuring it a simple enough question.

"Do you feel anything when you see her?" they asked, stopping when I did to think.

"...I miss her," I said softly, an overwhelming sadness swallowing my heart every time I thought about her tired and drawn face. "I miss her so much...and I don't remember her...who was she?"

I turned to look at the person, but they turned when I did, their back to me. "You have to answer that for yourself," they said, very unhelpful.

I shook my head and turned to keep going.

"Why do you keep pressing forward with no knowledge of what's at the end?" they asked.

"I need answers," I responded. "Even if I have to find them myself."

"And you're certain that you'll find them?"

"Well, no, but I have to try, don't I?" I asked, taking solace in the dull world in my bright red shoelaces.

There was silence, and I turned to see if they were still there, and they had gone. "Or you could just vanish and not say anything," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

It felt like a long travel, the buildings seemingly repeating themselves. I'd lost count of how many steps I'd taken, and the loneliness was starting to weigh down on me.

I let out a long sigh and settled on the sidewalk next to the road. There was a dull thumping in the air. It felt like the rumble of distant thunder, but there was no sound and it felt too rhythmic. I wasn't sure what to make of it, so I just added it to the list of oddities of this world, wherever I was.

I leaned back on my hands and looked up at the dull sky, only the grey clouds looking down on me in abject neutrality.

For the first time on this whole journey, I felt completely alone. It was suffocating. I lay back on the uncomfortable concrete, watching the blank sky. Nothing happened, nothing changed, and I wasn't so sure it ever would.

That crushing hopelessness weighed down on me, making my bones feel heavier than gravity itself. I couldn't move - didn't want to. What good would any of this do? What was my end goal? What was I looking for?

"Answers..." I managed. "I need answers." I sat up and frowned at the world in front of me. "You hear me?! I need answers!" I didn't know who I was yelling at, yelling for. I just wanted to scream, to feel better. It helped a little.

I pushed myself to stand, feeling like I had twenty pounds of weight tied to me. I felt like I shouldn't move forward, but I wasn't going to let this stop me. I couldn't.

I was missing something, and I had to find out what It was.


End file.
